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Who can go to Family Dispute Resolution?

When attending family dispute resolution (FDR) to resolve custody issues, you may think you need to bring another person for support. Or you may be wondering if your child is part of the process. There are certain rules regarding who may attend FDR that you should be aware of.

First, lets start with who must be there. Both parents must attend, as well as the professional conducting the FDR. If either parent fails to attend, FDR cannot take place.

So who else can go? Well, as long as neither party objects, a support person or family member may also attend. Your lawyer might be permitted to attend as well, although this must be discussed with the Family Relationship Centre Staff in advance. Each Family Relationship Centre is independently operated, so the rules and feelings towards having your lawyer present may vary from centre to centre.

What about your children? Your children will not actually attend the FDR, although they may still be involved in the process. If the parents consent, a family counsellor may talk to the child while the parties are attending FDR.

Speak with a family dispute attorney from Mathews Family Law today to get the advice you need for Family Dispute Resolution. Our team of specialist solicitors and parental rights lawyers can help you with your family dispute matter.

You’ve Tried Everything – Time for Family Court?

While many married or de facto couples terminating their relationship try to work things out amicably, it can be tough.  Here’s this person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with, and now you don’t even want to sit next to them at the same table.  But it’s almost always best to avoid court, at least in the beginning.  We recommend trying a number of alternatives, before going to Family Court:

Work it out on your own

Sit down and talk to each other.  This can save both of you time and money.   And being able to work things out at such a difficult time in your relationship bodes well for the future, demonstrating that despite the breakdown, you can work together for what’s best for everyone.

Family Dispute Resolution 

Many couples start with family dispute resolution.   Trained practitioners in the field of family disputes, with additional training in law, social work and psychology work with a separating couple to help them through the process.   This is generally used when children are involved.

Mediation 

Mediation is led by a trained, objective person whose role is to help each of you define the issues at hand, manage the discussion and come up with solutions.  The mediator is interested in resolving the problem in the best way possible for everyone involved.  The mediator does not judge or make a final decision but will help you come to your own resolution.

Collaborative Divorce 

Collaborative divorce is similar to mediation but each side also has a lawyer and often a social worker or counsellor and a financial advisor are involved.  Together all sides work together to help both of you come up with a solution that works for everyone.  Among the incentives to make this approach work: if negotiations fail, neither sides’ lawyer can represent them in court.

When is it time to throw in the towel and go to Family Court?

Sometimes though, Family Court may really be the right way to go.  Here are some factors to consider when making the choice whether to continue (or start) alternative approaches or go to Family Court.

Imbalance of Power

If your partner is abusive or domineering or makes more money or controls the finances in the family, this may put you in a much weaker position if you are trying to work it out by yourselves.  While some neutral third parties like a mediator have experience handling these types of people, you still might find yourself stuck and unable to move forward.

Your Partner has an Aggressive Lawyer

Even the most well-meaning of people can fall under the spell of a tough lawyer.   If they are working towards “getting even” rather than being fair, it’s probably time to go to Family Court and let a judge decide.

Your Partner does not Communicate

Each side has to be willing to talk about the issues at hand, express their needs and wants and listen to the other side.  You can’t really work out a problem with someone who refuses to show up to meetings or won’t express what they want  or won’t agree to anything,  If this describes your partner – repeatedly – it may be necessary to find a good lawyer and turn to the Family Court.

Vanessa Mathews is an accredited specialist in family law, and has the expertise and experience to provide you with the separation and divorce legal advice you are looking for.

Contact Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists, Accredited Family Law Specialist, Level 2, 599 Malvern Road, Toorak, Victoria, phone

1300 635 529, [email protected]

Mathews Family Law: mathewsfamilylaw.com.au

Family Court of Australia: www.familycourt.gov.au

Federal Circuit Court of Australia: federalcircuitcourt.gov.au

Family Law and Mediation – Is Mediation Appropriate For Me?

Mediation (also known as ‘Family Dispute Resolution) is a powerful tool for resolving parenting child custody and property settlement asset division disputes following separation and divorce, with a greater sense of satisfaction and ownership by the parties of the resulting agreement.

You may be feeling uncertain about whether or not FDR / mediation is ‘appropriate’ for you.

The answer to this question may or may not be obvious, for example:

1. FDR / mediation will be obviously not appropriate if a party refuses an invitation to attend an initial intake meeting with an FDRP / mediator –all FDR / mediations commence with an initial intake session, including risk assessment. The decision to participate in FDR / mediation must be voluntary and cannot be ‘imposed’.
2.  FDR / mediation may be appropriate even if a party expresses concern about a power imbalance and their capacity to participate – alternative modes of FDR / mediation will be considered at the initial intake meeting, including the options of joint sessions, shuttle mediation, remote attendance via skype/telephone/email. The availability of alternative modes enhances access to FDR / mediation.
3. FDR / mediation will be appropriate if both parties consent to attend – a choice of mode of attendance ensures that parties wishing for a non-litigious approach have the opportunity to utilize FDR / mediation notwithstanding concern about doing so.

For more than a decade Vanessa Mathews, accredited family law specialist and accredited FDRP and Mediator, has been providing FDR / mediation services in conjunction with her work as a family lawyer in Melbourne’s eastern suburbs. During this time Vanessa has provided FDR / mediation to hundreds of clients. Whilst there will always be the need for the Family Court to resolve the most complex parenting child custody and property settlement asset division matters, Vanessa continues to be in awe of, and humbled by, clients who choose to take responsibility for their parenting child custody and property settlement asset division and spousal maintenance issues via FDR / mediation – rather than have a Family Court Judge do this for them.

Vanessa is available to assist you to achieve a mediated agreement to:

1. Resolve your parenting issues including:

1. Interim issues:
   i. Child custody following separation, eg shared care
   ii. Single issue disputes, eg choice of school
2. Final issues:
   i. Child custody when one parent wishes to relocate with the children
   ii. Ongoing parenting child custody arrangements
3. Documentation of agreements
   i. Parenting Plan
   ii. Family Court Consent Orders

2. Negotiate property settlement and spousal maintenance issues including:

1. Interim issues:
   i. The use or sale of the home following separation
   ii. Child support
   iii. Spousal maintenance
   iv. Disclosure and valuation of assets
2. Final issues
   i. Property settlement asset division
   ii. Child support
   iii. Spousal maintenance
   iv. Superannuation splitting
3. Finalization of the agreement:
   i. Family Court Consent Orders
   ii. Binding Financial Agreements

Please contact Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists on 1300 635 529 to discuss your FDR / mediation needs.

Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists offer fixed fees for FDR / Mediation.

In 2019:

• Vanessa Mathews and Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists are rated by ‘Three Best Rated’ as one of the three best divorce lawyers in Melbourne.
• Vanessa Mathews is recognized by Doyle’s Guide to the Legal Professional as a ‘Recommended Family Lawyer’ and ‘Recommended Family Law Mediator’ in Melbourne.
• Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists won the Global Law Experts Awards for ‘Best Family Law Firm Australia’ and ‘Best Family Law Mediator Australia’ awards.
• Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists is a family law firm in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne – Level 2, 599 Malvern Road, Toorak.

Family Violence and Children at Risk

Every day in my practice as a specialist family lawyer, family dispute resolution practitioner and mediator, I hear stories of family violence and children at risk.

Whilst family violence is a tragedy in and of itself, more tragic is the suffering caused to the children who are exposed, in one way or another – by hearing, seeing, feeling – to incidents of domestic violence and/or the aftermath of family violence.

The following article in ‘The Age’ reports the findings of a new study by the Australian Institute Family Studies which confirms what we already know – that children who are exposed to family violence are at higher risk of suffering sexual, emotional and physical abuse.

The issue is ‘What can be done to prevent children from being exposed to family violence, thereby reducing the risk of future abuse for these very same children?’

The Australian Institute of Family Studies report, which will be released on Wednesday, also shows that children exposed to domestic violence from an early age are more likely to experience difficulties at school and have lifelong problems with social and cognitive development.

The report, Children’s exposure to domestic and family violence, draws on local and international research to examine the effects on children raised in abusive households.

It found young people who grew up around domestic violence were at higher risk of other forms of abuse, and that exposure to family violence was the leading cause of homelessness in young people.

“It affects their development in such a global fashion,” AIFS director Anne Hollonds said. “The problems are extensive and they go right across physical and mental wellbeing, cognitive development, which obviously affects academic achievement and employment.”

The study found child abuse often co-existed with domestic violence and that victims of persistent maltreatment in childhood suffered similar effects to trauma, which can lead to aggression, self-hatred and a lack of awareness of danger.

Ms Hollonds said the experience of children exposed to violence at home was not well understood and that a fragmented response meant the most vulnerable children were falling through the cracks.

“What we have is a fragmented patchwork of some services in some areas often operating in quite a siloed way,” she said.

“For example, domestic violence support for women might not always be focusing on the needs of the children. Similarly, adult services for mental health or drug and alcohol issues might not have a focus on the needs of dependent children.

“Unfortunately in some families the problems are multiple, it’s not just violence towards the other parent but there is also various kinds of abuse that the children directly experience. This multi-victimization of children requires our urgent attention.”

The Australian Human Rights Commission released a report on Monday that found up to five children in every classroom had experienced or witnessed family violence.

The National Children’s Commissioner, Megan Mitchell, said children were the “invisible victims” of the domestic violence scourge and that growing up in an abusive household could have a devastating lifelong impact on a person’s mental and physical health.

She said children exposed to family violence might also feel they needed to defend the parent, or be the one to call police or an ambulance.

Crime statistics show Victoria Police were called to 65,400 family incidents in 2013-14 and that children were present in more than one-third of cases.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, more than half of victims abused by their partner had dependent children in their care at the time, with that figure rising to 61 per cent in cases of abuse at the hands of former partners.

Ms Hollonds said a multidisciplinary approach to domestic violence across health, child protection and family services sectors was needed to help the most disadvantaged families, who are often dealing with complex problems but face the most barriers accessing help.

“We have a late reaction policy culture and find it difficult to co-ordinate across portfolios,” she said. “The key is acting earlier because often we don’t find out about the problems people are having until they’ve escalated to a very serious stage, and by then children will have been affected.”

Read more:

The Age:  www.theage.com.au/national/kids-exposed-to-domestic-violence-more-likely-to-suffer-sexual-physical-abuse-20151208-gli3au.html#ixzz3tmyef5Ib

The Australian Institute of Family Studies:  aifs.gov.au/publications/evaluation-2012-family-violence-amendments

Lifeline for counselling and support: www.1800respect.org.au/

If you would believe you would benefit from legal advice about family violence and/or other relationship issues, please contact Vanessa Mathews, Accredited Family Law Specialist Australian family lawyers, Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists, Level 2, 599 Malvern Road, Toorak, Victoria, phone 1300 635 529, email [email protected]

Vanessa is an expert specialist Melbourne Divorce Lawyer with many years of experience in advising clients about family violence and family law issues, from parental rights and child support, to family disputes and family law property matters.

Vanessa’s clients have kindly been willing to express their satisfaction with her work by writing, and consenting to have published, their testimonials on Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists, Melbourne Divorce Lawyers, website:  mathewsfamilylaw.com.au/stories/

Further testimonials as to Vanessa’s work may be found at Google Reviews:  click here

You’ve Tried Everything – Time for Family Court?

You’ve Tried Everything – Is it Time for Family Court?

While many married or de facto couples terminating their relationship try to work things out amicably, it can be tough.  Here’s this person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with, and now you don’t even want to sit next to them at the same table.  But it’s almost always best to avoid court, at least in the beginning.  We recommend trying a number of alternatives, before going to Family Court:

Work it out on your own

Sit down and talk to each other.  This can save both of you time and money.   And being able to work things out at such a difficult time in your relationship bodes well for the future, demonstrating that despite the breakdown, you can work together for what’s best for everyone.

Family Dispute Resolution 

Many couples start with family dispute resolution.   Trained practitioners in the field of family disputes, with additional training in law, social work and psychology work with a separating couple to help them through the process.   This is generally used when children are involved.

Mediation 

Mediation is led by a trained, objective person whose role is to help each of you define the issues at hand, manage the discussion and come up with solutions.  The mediator is interested in resolving the problem in the best way possible for everyone involved.  The mediator does not judge or make a final decision but will help you come to your own resolution.

Collaborative Divorce 

Collaborative divorce is similar to mediation but each side also has a lawyer and often a social worker or counsellor and a financial advisor are involved.  Together all sides work together to help both of you come up with a solution that works for everyone.  Among the incentives to make this approach work: if negotiations fail, neither sides’ lawyer can represent them in court.

When is it time to throw in the towel and go to Family Court?

Sometimes though, Family Court may really be the right way to go.  Here are some factors to consider when making the choice whether to continue (or start) alternative approaches or go to Family Court.

Imbalance of Power

If your partner is abusive or domineering or makes more money or controls the finances in the family, this may put you in a much weaker position if you are trying to work it out by yourselves.  While some neutral third parties like a mediator have experience handling these types of people, you still might find yourself stuck and unable to move forward.

Your Partner has an Aggressive Lawyer

Even the most well-meaning of people can fall under the spell of a tough lawyer.   If they are working towards “getting even” rather than being fair, it’s probably time to go to Family Court and let a judge decide.

Your Partner does not Communicate

Each side has to be willing to talk about the issues at hand, express their needs and wants and listen to the other side.  You can’t really work out a problem with someone who refuses to show up to meetings or won’t express what they want  or won’t agree to anything,  If this describes your partner – repeatedly – it may be necessary to find a good lawyer and turn to the Family Court.

Vanessa Mathews is an accredited family law specialist, and the Melbourne family lawyers at Mathews Family Law have the expertise and experience to provide you with the separation and divorce legal advice you are looking for. Speak with one of our specialist solicitors today about your family law property matter or family law parenting matter.

Contact Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists, Accredited Family Law Specialist, Level 2, 599 Malvern Road, Toorak, Victoria, phone 1300 635 529, [email protected]

Mathews Family Law: https://mathewsfamilylaw.com.au

Family Court of Australia: http://www.familycourt.gov.au

Federal Circuit Court of Australia: http://federalcircuitcourt.gov.au

Family Dispute Resolution: The Details

Australia now requires anyone seeking a court order concerning children to first file a dispute resolution certificate with the court acknowledging that they have engaged in some type of dispute resolution. This is only necessary if the parties plan to invite the courts to make parenting determinations and other child related issues. Should you and your former partner be able to reach a settlement without seeking the court’s help, there is no requirement to attend dispute resolution.

The reason for this requirement is that Australia has a strong preference for families to reach amicable agreements without resorting to litigation. Generally, the outcome is better when parties are able to reach an agreement independent of the court’s involvement. Dispute resolution encourages early and full disclosure of relevant information, and allows parties to engage in a process that not only avoids legal action but also minimises cost.

What is a Dispute Resolution Certificate? And do I need one?

The certificate is simply a piece of paper that confirms that you and your former partner have attempted some type of family mediation with a registered family dispute resolution practitioner. It will state one of the following:

• The other party did not attend family dispute resolution;
• The parties attended and made a genuine effort to resolve the dispute;
• The parties attended but one or both of them did not make a genuine effort to resolve the dispute; or
• The practitioner decided that the case was not appropriate for family dispute resolution

You will need a certificate before you can apply to the court to litigate any child related procedures unless:

• The application is for consent orders
• There is a history of risk or family violence and/or child abuse;
• The application is urgent;
• It is impractical to attend family dispute resolution;
• The application alleges a contravention of a court order made within  the past 12 months;
• An application for a parenting order has been previously filed with the court; or
• Agreement has been reached.

If the above scenarios do not apply to your case, and you fail to file a certificate prior to seeking the court’s help in a child related proceeding, you could be forced to pay additional costs and/or be ordered to attend the required family dispute resolution.

Once provide to the court, the certificate becomes part of the file and is considered an official court document.

What is a Registered Family Dispute Practitioner?

Your dispute resolution certificate must be signed by a registered family dispute resolution provider in order to be valid. This person may also been known as a “family counsellor” or “dispute resolution practitioner.” An individual or organisation must be qualified through meeting certain standards of training, experience and suitability for inclusion on the Family Dispute Resolution Register.

A “family consultant” does not meet the necessary qualifications, however can still assist you through the process. These individuals are licensed psychologists and social workers who are contracted by the Family Court and assist and advise people involved in the proceedings, assist and advise the court, and also help the parties resolve disputes.

If you are looking for a registered family dispute practitioner you may access the register online at: fdregister.familyrelationships.gov.au/Search.aspx.

Bear in mind that not every legal practitioner or counsellor is qualified to act as a registered family dispute resolution practitioner. You may consult the above website or simply as your lawyer for a recommended family counsellor should you need dispute resolution services.

Prior to commencing the dispute resolution, the registered practitioner or counsellor must assess whether dispute resolution is appropriate in your particular case. The assessment will consider many factors, such as the history of family violence, safety of the parties, equality of bargaining power amongst the parties, emotional/psychological/physical health of the parties, and other relevant factors. Should the practitioner decide that dispute resolution is no appropriate in your situation, they will issue a certificate that says as much.

Do I need a lawyer?

It is very important to note that registered family dispute practitioners are not permitted to give any type of legal advice to the parties. These individuals are to be neutral and should only act to help the parties resolve their issues. Even if you chose a private practitioner who is in fact an lawyer, she may not administer legal advice to either party. These dispute resolution practitioners may discuss the legal process and the logistics of subsequent legal action, and they may provide you with contact information for Legal Aid or other lawyers, however they may not administer legal advice, which begs the question: Do I need an lawyer?

There is no “right” answer to this question. Each family’s circumstances are unique to their situation, so there is no universal answer to the question of whether you should employ an lawyer prior to attending dispute resolution. However, we recommend to most people that they obtain legal advice prior to the dispute resolution session. An lawyer can explain the process, the implications of the parenting decisions you make, and advise you with regard to your particular situation.

Additionally, the law allows parties to seek legal advice and attempt negotiations through lawyers before you dispute resolution session. You may address and settle all child related issues without having to attend dispute resolution – this is only a requirement if you plan to involve the courts.

What can I expect at dispute resolution? 

Dispute resolution can take several forms. If you hire a private practitioner to conduct your family dispute resolution, it may take place at a law firm, or other corporate location. However, if hiring an individual who is a private practitioner is beyond your financial reach, you can get access to dispute resolution services at Family Resource Centres or other community based organisations.

Family Relationship Centres (FRCs) are government sanctioned dispute resolution forums that encourage parents to focus on the needs of the children and reach a workable parenting arrangement. The ultimate goal of the FRC is the same as with other forms of dispute resolution – to reach an agreement without having to go to court. While FRC staff can’t provide legal advice they are trained to deal with relevant issues such as family violence and child abuse, and they can provide you with information about private practice lawyers as well as Legal Aid as well and other community legal centres.

Should you choose the FRC route, your experience may vary depending on the location you select. Each FRC is independently owned and operated and thus the intake process as well as the dispute resolution model can be different at each centre. However, the one aspect of all FRCs that is consistent at all locations is that your first three hours of services are free.

Once you have selected your family dispute resolution forum, you will be asked to sign an agreement confirming your understanding of the process. There will be a joint session, with opportunities to take a “time-out” and have one on one time with the practitioner. If your issues are not able to be resolved in your initial meeting, then you will have to schedule a subsequent session to make another attempt to resolve the issues.

Everything said during the dispute resolution process is strictly confidential, and is not admissible in open court or other proceedings, unless it relates to child abuse or the parties have consented.

Other Avenues of Dispute Resolution

Arbitration is a type of dispute resolution in which a trained professional evaluates the evidence and makes an independent determination regarding the dispute. This process is appealing to some because the parties are able to control the process by selecting the arbitrator as well as the method and timing of arbitration. More often than not, an arbitration hearing can occur significantly sooner than the courts would reach your case, and the process tends to be more private. A list of qualified arbitrators may be found at www. familylawsection.org.au.

Collaborative law is another option for dispute resolution, and allows for parties and lawyers to meet in four-way meetings. This process permits the parties to stay directly involved in the communication and negotiations. A major distinction with collaborative law is that the parties and lawyers agree in advance not to go to court.

Legal advice around Family Dispute Resolution can help you make sense of a complicated process. Mathews Family Law can guide you through with specialist solicitors, advice from family dispute attorneys, and family law parenting matters explained to you in detail.

Exceptions to Compulsory Family Dispute Resolution

In 2006 it became mandatory for all couples to attend family dispute resolution prior to filing an application with the court to determine custody. One of the aims of this legislation was to encourage parents to reach an agreement about parenting on their own terms, without the interference of the courts. After family dispute resolution is attempted, the practitioner involved in the process issues one of four types of certificates:

1. A person did not attend family dispute resolution with another party because of the other party’s refusal or failure to do so;
2. A person did not attend family dispute resolution because the practitioner considered that it would not be appropriate to conduct such resolution (having regard to matters prescribed by the regulations);
3. A person did attend family dispute resolution and all attendees made a genuine effort to resolve the issue or issues;
4. A person did attend family dispute resolution but the person or another party did not make a genuine effort to resolve the issue or issues

The court will consider these certificates prior to making a ruling in the case, and can also consider the certificates when assessing whether to order costs to be paid by a party.

Does that mean that you absolutely have to attend family dispute resolution and get one of these certificates before you can file a custody action?

Not exactly.

While the legislators voiced a clear preference for settling child-related matters through family dispute resolution, they also recognized six classes of cases in which family dispute resolution should not be required.

1. Application for Consent Order Pending

If parties are applying for a consent order, then they have already reached an agreement on how to handle child-related issues. Therefore, ordering the parties to attend family dispute resolution prior to filing an application for the consent order would be futile.

2. Violence and Abuse

Where the court finds reasonable grounds exist that demonstrate that there has been abuse or family violence, or that a risk of such exists, no compulsory family dispute resolution is required. The court will not force parties to attempt to achieve a resolution to their child-related issues if there is any history or threat of violence.

3. Contravention of Previous Order

A party can make an application to the court regarding a “particular” child-related issue, without attending dispute resolution, if there is already an order in place addressing said issue. For instance, if there is already an order in place setting forth a custodial schedule for the child, and one party is not abiding by the order, the complying party may apply directly to the court to seek enforcement of the order. If there is already an order in place, there is no need to utilize dispute resolution services to try and reach an agreement.

4. Application is Urgent

Sometimes a parent will have to make an urgent application to the court about a child-related issue. An example of this would be if a parent intended to relocate and take the child with them, in a situation like that the parties would need to have the issue addressed by the judge as soon as possible, spending time at family dispute resolution would simply slow the process down.

5. Incapacity

If a party lacks the capacity, physically or otherwise to attend family dispute resolution, the court will not enforce their attendance. For instance, if a party is unable to participate effectively because they live in another country, an application regarding a child-related issue could be made directly to the court even if no family dispute resolution has taken place. The rationale for this exception is that compelling attendance would be largely inconvenient; a party could make sacrifices to travel and attend dispute resolution only to not reach an agreement and have to subsequently travel again for litigation.

6. Other Circumstances

The final exception category is a catchall. If there is another reason set forth in the regulations that would allow parties to bypass family dispute resolution, that reason will suffice and allow parties to bypass compulsory dispute resolution.

The bottom line is unless your situation qualifies for one of these enumerated exceptions, you should be prepared to attend family dispute resolution prior to making an application to the court to determine custody or other child-related issues.

Mediation and Family Dispute Resolution

Vlog Transcript

Hi, I’m Vanessa Mathews from Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists, and today we’ll be discussing mediation.

Many couples facing the end of their marriage feel confused about how to resolve the many issues that come up. Well-meaning friends and relatives might recommend running to an aggressive lawyer who can help you battle out in court, but I want to use this video to tell you about different ways of solving your problems that can help everyone to feel that they were treated fairly and with respect.

You and your spouse have the ability to choose how you will go about reaching an agreement. Despite what you may have heard from sensational articles in the media or even through friends, most family disagreements in Australia end with a settlement. This means that most couples do not go to court to work out child custody issues, property division, or maintenance. They sit down together, sometimes with the help of professionals, and work through the problem.

Mediation is an alternative approach to resolving disagreements between couples. In Australia, it’s frequently used for figuring out property issues, and it’s also used for parenting disputes. Rather than going to court and have a judge determine how best to solve your problems, mediation allows you to control the process and the outcome.

So how does mediation work? A third neutral and objective person serves as a mediator whose role is to facilitate communication between you and your spouse to help you reach an agreement that you’re both comfortable with. The mediator helps you figure out what your interests are, what your actual needs are, and what is fair to everyone.

There are many benefits to mediation. One is that you’re involved in the process and the final decision. If you don’t like the way the process is going, you can say so and even leave the mediation. You’re in control. No judge makes a final ruling for you that you might not like. You have the right to accept or reject any agreement. Another benefit of mediation is that it gives you a lot of flexibility.

Together with the mediator and your partner, you set up times for meetings. This means you don’t have to miss work or find babysitters, or be controlled by court dates. The settings for mediation is also much more comfortable: usually in the mediator’s office and definitely not in a courtroom. Mediation is usually much shorter than going to court, limiting the time to weeks or just a few months.

When it comes to parenting issues, family dispute resolution, or FDR, is a very good option. This is a type of mediation that’s required by the courts when parents can’t come to an agreement on their own. These mediators are trained in the area of family disputes, and they usually have a background in law, social work, or psychology. They help couples figure out what’s best for their children. If you and your partner can work out a parenting plan on your own, that’s great. If you can’t, and you need to go to court to get a judge to decide, you first have to attend FDR and show the court you’ve both a good effort to resolve your problems.

I often recommend to clients to get legal advice when you’re in mediation, and I would recommend that you do have a lawyer. The lawyer’s role is to make sure you know your legal rights and obligations, and to help you understand the legal consequences of the decisions that you make in the mediation.

Sometimes lawyers actually attend the mediation sessions if both sides agree. It’s helpful to have a lawyer in mediation because sometimes there is a power imbalance between you and your spouse where one is stronger, or louder, or takes advantage of the other. Having a lawyer there can help balance the sides. But even if you don’t have a lawyer with you, you have the right to call your lawyer, or anyone else, to ask questions. Mediation agreements reached without each of you understanding your legal rights can result in failed negotiations or even broken agreements.

If you have more questions about mediation or family dispute resolution, or want to learn more about them, you can take a look at our other videos and at our website, or feel free to call me. I’m Vanessa Mathews at Mathews Family Law & Mediation Specialists.

I tried dispute resolution, and it didn’t work.

There are advantages to going through dispute resolution. Even though it is mandatory you should approach your session with an open mind and a positive attitude. While the goal is for you and your former partner to reach an agreement, you can still experience some benefits even if you fall short of reaching an agreement.

Simply going through this process often helps former partners communicate better, understand the other’s position better, and can sometimes turn a tumultuous situation into a more amicable one. So, even if you fail to reach an agreement, the mandatory dispute resolution may still be beneficial.

After your attempt at family dispute resolution you will be issued a certificate. Even if you fail to reach an agreement, you will still need to provide the court with the certificate, which memorializes your attempt at resolution. Once the court has received the necessary certificate you may litigate your child related issues in court and the judge will ultimately made the necessary decisions.

Custody Disputes: Major Long-Term Issues

In custody disputes, one of the issues parents often disagree over is which parent will decide the major long-term issues; such as where the child will attend school, what the child will be named, and the religion and cultural upbringing the child will experience. Generally speaking, the parent who physically has the child in their custody will decide the day-to-day decisions, but what about these bigger and more impactful decisions?

What is a major long-term issue?

First, we should take a look at what exactly constitutes a major long-term issue. The Family Law Act defines that these issues are those about the long-term care, welfare and development of the child and includes (but is not limited to) issues of that nature about:

• education (both current and future);
• religious and cultural upbringing;
• health
• the child’s name and
• changes to the child’s living arrangements that make it significantly more difficult for the child to spend time with a parent

Some issues might not be major long-term issues on their face, but the results of the decision impact the child and thus make it a major long-term issue. An example of this is would be when a parent starts a new relationship. This by itself would not be considered a major long-term issue, however if it results in the parent moving further away from the child it becomes one.

Generally, decisions about what the child wears, what time the child goes to bed, and what the child eats are not considered major long-term decisions. These decisions are typically made by whichever parent has the child in their custody. For instance, the father may decide while the child is in his care he will go to bed at 8:00, and the mother may decide that 7:30 is an appropriate bedtime. These decisions do not impact the long-term welfare of the child and are not typically disputed.

However, sometimes an issue that appears to be a day-to-day decision is actually a major long-term decision. This may be the case where the parents have differing views about the religious or cultural upbringing of the child. One parent may not want the child to eat certain foods or receive certain medical treatment because of religious practice, while the other parent may not follow the same practice. In this situation, the decision about what food the child will eat has become a major long-term decision and will be treated as such by the court.

Who makes the major long-term decisions?

If you have read our other articles about custody, you have noticed a trend. The law in Australia strongly prefers for parents to reach amicable decisions regarding custody without using the courts, and also for parents to share parental responsibility for the child. So, it may not come as a surprise that when it comes to making major long-term decisions, the decisions should be made jointly. This isn’t merely a preference; the Family Law Act actually imposes an obligation on parents to make a genuine attempt to reach a joint decision. Only if you are unable to do so, after attending dispute resolution, may you apply to the court for an order addressing the conflict.

Rules about specific major long-term issues

Changing the child’s name. If you wish to change your child’s name, each person with parental responsibility for the child will have to agree. If you are unable to get the other parent on board with the proposed name change, you may make an application to the court, and the court will make the decision while considering the welfare of the child. In determining if the proposed name change should be made, the court will look at several factors, including both the short and long-term effects, embarrassment expected on behalf of the child, identity confusion of the child, and the effect the change will have on the relationship between the child and other parents. Before you may apply to the court for a name change, however, the Family Law Act requires the parties to attend dispute resolution in an attempt to resolve the issue.

Relocation. Relocation is one of the most common major long-term issues that parents tend to disagree over. After enduring a separation or divorce it is not unusual for one parent to want to relocate. The parent may wish to relocate because of an employment opportunity, because of a new relationship, to be closer to family, or simply to make a fresh start. However, if the parent wishes to relocate the child as well, often the non-moving party will object. This is obviously a difficult subject and one that is emotional for all parties, including the child. Unfortunately, there is no guiding provision in the Family Law Act and no case that carves out a definitive rule regarding this issue. The courts have consistently determined that the same guiding principle applies to relocation cases as to other major long-term causes, and that principle is to make a decision that is in the best interest of the child.

When it comes to settling disputes about major long-term issues, each situation is different and has its own unique circumstances. It is always best to try and reach an agreement without involving the courts, however if this is impossible, you may apply to the court for an order resolving the dispute. The court will always act under the principle that the best interest of the child is of paramount importance, and this is the same guiding force you should adopt in your attempt at reaching an agreement.

Family Law Alternatives to Dispute Resolution

The family courts in Australia recognize the limits of an adversarial system, in which sides come to a judge, armed with aggressive lawyers, to let someone else determine their future. Rather than encouraging people – many of whom were married to each other for years, raised children together and made difficult life-changing decisions together – to discuss the issues with each other when there is a problem, it encourages them to do battle against one another, make the other person suffer, and take as much as they can. There is no balance between the carrot and the stick – there is only a stick, no carrot.

Family law in Australia does, however, offer alternatives to the traditional court approach. Many couples, after first trying to resolve their dispute on their own, now turn to mediation. Mediation generally takes place between the husband and wife or de facto partners, sometimes with their lawyers at their sides (if both sides agree) and is led by a trained, neutral mediator. Mediators may be lawyers themselves, but also come from backgrounds in social work and family therapy. The mediator helps the sides define their interests and what is important to them, manages the discussion between the sides and helps them come to a resolution.

The mediator’s responsibility is to assist the sides in resolving the problem in the best way possible for everyone. This means looking at the whole picture – the children, the ability of the sides to continue working together in the best interests of the children, ensuring that everyone can stand on their feet economically – and not just at the individual desires or demands of one particular side. It’s not an easy task for the mediator and it’s even more difficult to bring the sides to this larger understanding. The mediator does not serve as a judge, making a final ruling. The final agreement must come voluntarily from the two parties.

In certain family disputes in Australia, couples, both married and de facto, are required to attend Family Dispute Mediation. Trained practitioners in the field of family disputes, with professional backgrounds in the fields of law, social work and psychology work with a separating couple to help them through the process. These practitioners will advise the couple on best practices for the good of the children. Family Dispute Mediation is required before parents apply for parenting orders from an Australian court. Parents attending this type of mediation receive a certificate which must be submitted to the court before parenting orders will be given. There are exceptions to this requirement, however, such as urgency, domestic abuse or mental illness.

Vanessa Mathews is a family law specialist and mediator and an accredited family dispute resolution practitioner. Mathews Family law also provides the full range of dispute resolution options, including lawyer-led negotiations and arbitration.